My circle of people know that am a church goer mainly because am with them at church.

So what ends up happening with sermon lessons is that there's more motivation to read the Bible, mainly because it has so much relevance to our present time.

So this morning, I was on First and Second Timothy.  And the Word was a joy, because I carried it with me when I was going around the city.  The verse basically said, "Do not put your hope in wealth for it is uncertain, rather put it in God who gives enjoyment in everything."  I went with that notion today, and yes, I did enjoy my day.

Wow, what a day I had.  I woke up really tired this morning, and I was confused why.  I had a working day yesterday, but it wasn't any in a way where I went for a jogging, or anything like that, so I thought I wouldn't be tired.  Am just coming home from swimming, but at breakfast today at Louise's here in Milton, I was basically nodding off with my food.

The meal was overwhelming, because my mom didn't finish hers, and that I would finish it, so I ended up really full.

I slept in the afternoon, regained my strength, and rejoiced the Lord, why?  Because life felt like prison at that time, I listened to Jeremy Camp's new album, and it sufficed the situation.

But life has always been like this, and am really learning that I have to rejoice in the Lord.  Life is like a whoop ass, it's hard, it's burdening, and if you don't have any joy in life, it's so hard to survive.

My swimming was fast that I just wanted the stress out physically, I rushed because am on this Miami-Boston series, and I just watched the first quarter.

Boston?  It really hurt them letting Perkins go, Green can play, but he wasn't hitting his shots, but he did make his last three, but Miami is on the rise, and they're hitting their shots.

Life's daunting, I don't know what to do this evening, I'll probably be back on my Jeremy Camp album, and I already know that it'll suffice the situation.

What can I say with the day.  I've been trying to be British for the longest time now, and I understand that they're honest people, so liken to it, instead of saying "Oh God, what am I going through?"  I say, "This is daunting."  The day more than likely was messed up.  But I understand that we grow in bad times, I think they're a number of people who are some what familiar with my condition, with myself, I don't even know what it is, but if you look at my doctor's file, it's like the size of an encyclopedia.  So while playing volleyball today with NLCBC, I started having a quirky mind, so I started talking to God in prayer, and the thing was difficult that I was really frustrated in the change room while rehabbing myself.

By God's grace, I have a way to somewhat control the mind problem, but deep down, I keep thinking that things can be better (and that they will be better.)

I went off Brampton area, because I was looking for cold drink, and I ended up having an extra large smoothie at the Tim Horton's drive-thru.  And while all these snack-like activity, it loomed in my mind that I have to love God with my mind, Biblically, it's actually "all my mind".  Am doing that now, and am healed.  A lot can be said with my mind, because I have this Axl Rose lyrics, off November Rain, "I can finally rest my head just knowing that you're mine."  So for the longest time now, I've gone on a romance binge, and I've had intimate relationships, but "the head is never at rest."  So when I talk to my doctor, all the issues are concerning:  How's my concentration; How's my appetite...  Because health wise, I think my doctor knows me well.

I must admit, it's rather quite a good place to spend time in.  For pictures, here's the link:  http://www.facebook.com/adriancudal

There's a lot to talk about with this day mainly because it is six in the evening, and the sun is still bright.  Where to start,  I woke up really early because I slept really early also.  But with the van available, I went to Brampton to skim through mixtapes, and I ended up buying a copy.  This mixtape have Weezy's song with Cory Guns...  I thought it was just a great album.  (Am getting back to rnb, and the modern songs now are still good.  Am still a fan with the nineties, but this generation's craft is great.)

I signed up for wayn.com and I labelled my site My Travelling Life, mainly because the site is inspirational with the travelling ideas.

I don't think I can ever convince people the effectiveness of my travelling life, why?  Because am low key, or at least that's how I view myself.  I have been commented on that "I go to places."  But I think am not convincing.  Am hoping that this Miami trip in two weeks will some how change what people think of my "tour around the world."

I never took emphasize on my travel, because being young then, I thought it was a normal thing which a lot of people do.  But the contrast of joy and pain came very extreme in my life, I've felt major pain in my world that now, travelling to Tim Horton's for coffee "is so great" to me.

Primarily, I was gonna go for a walk in Spadina at Chinatown, go to a road adjacent to that, and go to Yonge Street, and Eaton's Centre (mall).  But the scenery of Lake of Ontario was great, and I thought the relaxation would be great also that I would go for a one hour walk.

My pictures are the main evidence.  I can never match the pleasure off photos from being there.  The feeling there?  It's just great relaxation and relief.  (A couple of times, I stopped over to think and ponder about life, and a lot went through my mind.)

But I've laid off photography for the longest time now, and I thought the park off Lake Ontario, would change things.  An attractive girl made eye contact with me when I pulled over for a photography.  She was enticing, because she was very beautiful.  But I noticed her sunglasses being Gucci, and am like, "I don't have all the money in the world!"  :)

There was just a lot of driving today.  I went and got three albums from used sections, and am happy with the purchases.

I understand I can't do anymore spending until the Miami trip is taken.

What has transpired.  Yes.  For some reason, I was driving late last night, oh yeah, I had to drop off my mom at her night shift (in Canada Post.)  Thing was, there's a little nature work here in Milton along the residential area, I turned to this street, because it was time to go home, thing was, the car in front of me was suspicious, no paranoia stuff, just straight fear from me, because the setting with all the dark trees, and long and narrow road, the car didn't even react fast, I was still far away, and he stationed himself right at the middle of the road.  Am like, "What?"  I dodged it by de-touring.

Life, life, life, what can I say about it?  I think life is so vast and such an open field that it's easy to get lost.  I understand that there's boredom, and there's times when we feel like we have nothing to do.  But when life does become activious, the idealistic life can be hefty.  I've been dealing with people a lot older than me for the longest time now, and I deal with them, basically because I wanna know their survival.  I understand am thirty two years old, but at the same, when there's a person who is in his fifties, I can't help but distinguish what he has been through.

I studied humanity for the longest time now, and it's amazing the type of stories I get out of it.  I just read a sermon from Peoples church, and a man believed that Christianity is true, but won't put his faith on it, so what did Charles Price react on it?  "Am telling you, man, that you're a fool."  So it's amazing how foolishness can still be practiced in any age of humanity.

Am on xanga, basically because am bored.  Am a little comforted, because God's the Author and Finisher of my faith.  Am patient in a way, but there's nothing to do.  Am trying to be creative.  Am currently into Jamie Foxx's music, I have all his three albums now.  His stuff is not a culture changing kinda' thing, but I feel it bangs, I think it's for a night life music, and it's pretty much original, it'll be in a way where am gonna deal with this lifestyle - I think - that I don't know how am gonna react to it.  I think Canada's so busy that you can only deal with things during night time.  I had an intense night life too, I remember just sleeping for forty five minutes, and being up again for a seminar, mainly because I thought my mental health could take it, but am suffering at CLC, and I kinda' eased up on it, because it's too hard.  Being on hwy. 401, and you're about to sleep on the wheel, because of tiredness is alarming.

I'll be in Miami soon, I might deal with the night life there, but I understand that it's still being awake, and that there's gonna be hanging out outside just for the fresh air, I mean, nothing out of the norm.  I think the media does well on promoting night lives in NBA games (when they show the city in bird's eye view.)

So it could take into account the Easter weekend, mainly because it's that, "The Easter Weekend."  I have lost sentiments for such holidays.  Something happened to me along the way.  Even Christmas Day, I spend it driving around the city, mainly because it is ghost town.  But before you pass judgements, I do value the Lord.  Classic example was Saturday night's performance, I never get bored of the cross that I cried with the depiction of Christ being "punished".

Much focus was on the death and resurrection of Christ.  Certain people in CLC even fasted for twenty two days.  So that was amazing, I didn't know people can survive that long.  I can't even survive being hungry for a couple of hours.

I tried going around the mall over the weekend, and Friday and Sunday, I think the mall's were close.  My weekends are usually peculiar, because I do tone myself down, because there's performances at church.  I mean, with singing, I can basically be playful, but I understand that I have to sing well and be on point.  I don't entirely feel the pressure, am not saying am flawless, but I've accepted failure, if the whole thing fails, I guess I've been familiar with failure so much that I also understand recovery.

But the new song we sang received good reviews.  And I don't really know where my singing life is headed, but I do keep dealing with music, as I speak, my youtube is open.  I understand I have a different taste in music where I can really be particular, but am understanding now that there's an audience to deal with, and every weekend now, I keep studying "how to move" the congregation.  Am I successful?  I don't know.

But my music is of the greats, I keep listening to classic albums, and it's also in a way where I really wanna know how to play the trumpet and guitar.  Yesterday, I was wishing that I could be like Johnny Cash - bad.

But I think that's part of life, as I write this, I also deal with audience perspective.  It's really funny, because even talking to people in person, the whole marketing scheme come alive.  So with writing, I understand that it's the world wide web, and the world will continue on its virtual style.  But is this successful?  I don't know.

It's advisable to read books on it.  Am at Indigo, and there's books on marketing, I mean, the whole nine yards.  But I see it totally different now.  When I go to places, I don't study entirely the products, but the business side of it.  And I've learned that people wanna move forward, I've learned that people want soulish stuff, and interesting and not boring stuff are important.  Currency is crucial too.  Anything that excites the mind.

Perplexed by the weekend.  It was a tiring weekend.  I recovered, 'cuz basically I slept all day.  There's just some principalities going on in my life right now.  I was fine in the morning that I really didn't mind with the fatigue.  But I just had no reason moving forward (in life).  I went to Square One to deal with the world, and go for a walk, because I've been in church from Friday to Sunday.

Writing is hard when there isn't too much excitement.  I wanted an escatacy feeling at church yesterday, so I tried to be celebratory with the singing.  At the end, I basically got up to dance at the back.

My friend's went off for Max in Manila (chicken dinner), and I didn't go because I had no money.

But a lot went through my mind last night.  I went to the altar call, because I had to renew my relationship with the Lord, and it was the same sermon from Saturday yesterday, and it dawned on me that the sermon was for me.  Things just got problematic, because I was back listening to Kells in the van right after that revival.

But am dealing with the Word again, and not just New Testament, but books of Obadiah, Habbakuk, and am crying because the writings are filled with God's wrath.

Am basically writing, because I have nothing else to do in life, and that I feel empty, nothing.  I feel unchanged, I feel like I have nothing in life.

It was our friend's departure on Friday, and I asked her right away "If everything was fine", because a lot of things got handed over to her.  At the start, she was in good shape, and leaving for her flight, she was still in good shape, so that was good.  I think things just become normal that when something severe happens, it can affect you emotionally.  My emotions gripped me while she left, and it wasn't just that situation, but I went through this a lot of times with friends, and it's the whole compact thing that I was singing a techno song "When will you be mine, because I miss you so much, am losing my mind."  It's not even just people in company, but I miss D'angelo, I miss Prince Naseem (his whole presentation in the ring), there were just certain people I missed at that time.  I commented to her with her picture taking, because am going to a trip to Florida this mid-May, and guess what?  Am dealing with Palm Beach here, and guess what?  Now that Mia's gone?  Am not inspired to take these pictures.

But it's not altogether a sour note, because I will still take pictures, but it won't be hardcore anymore.  My photography really takes the geography of the land environment, but am hoping that I'll be back in that mode, because picture taking does take hard work.

But it's frustrating here in Milton, am basically dealing with the NBA playoff game with San Antonio and Memphis, but it's not a grand enjoyment, you know?  I really don't know what to do, may be I'll play Starcraft 2, but the night is just not complete.  Yada, yada, yada.

LOL.  I had good sleep last night, and am still very tired right now.  I think days are just projections.  Am getting job offers with a couple of them, and I wanna be excited for them, but a lot of me has this negative view on it.  But I think I'll be okay over it.  Thing is, I remember a manager, in college, telling me that he's just trying to get his employees working @ the workplace, and it was in a way where he was telling that his employees didn't wanna work anymore.

I think that's the issue that people lose motivation to work.

But yeah, just odd that I feel tired right now.  It's not that refreshing sleep, you know?

The weekend was hard, because I was in situations where it became toil.  Friday we had a long practice for regular singing, and I was told if I knew "It's Still the Cross."  Thing was, the title had familiarity with another song, and I said yes.  I went to the front, and am like, "What's this?  This is a new song:  Choir."  The ordeal was hard, because it was totally a new song.  I had my orthos on for my feet comfort, and even my heal started hurting.

But am alive and well right now, and I don't know how to approach this day.  I was told to hand in my resume yesterday, so I'ma work on that.  Someone proposed on me that I should move to Alberta, and I had some agreement on it.  But it's together very unlikely at this point.  I'd like to move in a way where I wanna see different places, 'cuz I've been here in southern Ontario for over twenty years.

Sorry for the somewhat degrading remark there,

Through various browsing of Filipino friends in Facebook, I accessed to video clips taking place in the Philippines.  Am one of those people who are not sold out with The Philippines.  Why?  Well, a lot know.  Classic example is when they're having a showbiz right on the middle of a common street, and guess what?  The show's all formal, classy, and beautiful, but guess what the street people are doing?  I really don't know Filipino business, I still study business even among Filipino/Asian stores.  But a lot have said that The Philippines is a better place to live in.

I have my reasons for P.I., and how it's appealing to many, but it's in a way where it's just like here in North America where every guy wants to get a beautiful girl.

I have my Christian stand points that am not gonna heftly compare Canada and The Philippines.  Culturally and morally, there is a big difference.  People in The Philippines tend to be nice, and in North America, arrogant.

But the situation is odd, because Canada is a prosperous country, but the outstretch is limited.  But I don't entirely complain of the country, because am one of those people who like hiking, and wanna see nature even taking pictures of them.

But P.I. I think is really ran by showbiz, I understand that finance economically went wrong, but outside money, what can people really get?  If I examine Philippines right now, it's almost like Canada where people just wanna go out, drink beer, and play pool.  But what I think is important with lifestyle is that, you have to have a dynamic life, because one new comer here in Canada said that, "Your life don't go anywhere in The Philippines."

But there's a lot of reports, I know a woman who said that Canada is all about eating, singing, and working.

But from my Christian stand point, life is a vapour, and much life collection is not secure, because our lasting here on earth can be sooner than we expect.

Am in a Bible study group with CLC, and I understand the stagnation and boredom of this country that I suggest "We should have people be in niches."  It was some how accepted graciously, but I understand being in situations where there's nothing to do.  Like Philippines, showbiz dominate North America too.  And what's wrong with television is that, it's not real.

I remember a few years ago everyone dying for downtown Toronto, but now, it's not a popular place anymore.  But what's more popular is Niagara Falls (Casino).  But is the pattern obvious here?  People are really looking into high, night life.  Yes, I do think and write about these things, why?  'Cuz am a sucker, homie.  Really, am just into movements.  I understand problems, because I've been through a lot of them, and I still go through them right now.

One could speculate the virtual world, I mean, it can be in a way where the real world is boring "So just make it virtual."

It's a hard call, because the lumber jack lifestyle is real here in Canada, and I understand its importance, because to be one with nature is crucial, I mean, it's good for the health.

But I remember my grandfather in The Philippines, he just kept going for walks in the morning, and when I see Canada, it's just a bunch of walking routes where you hike.

The highlights of this day was mainly Starcraft 2.  I admit, I have a deep appreciation of the game now.  Well, the last game was kinda' messed up, 'cuz of over joy with a teamate's win, he decided to bash his own base, roam around the map, and built indecisively a base on enemy's territory.

Now, this type of entry may be boring to you, but believe me, this is all I got right now.

But to be finesse with things if I can talk about other stuff.

Morning time, I was around Milton, this activity prolonged to the afternoon, and early evening, I was still in Milton.  Odd thing is, I didn't do much today, but time has gone off so fast.

My day was kinda' good, because I didn't resist working.  SC2 does make you tired after playing for thirty minutes straight.  But fatigue didn't stop me, because I decided to do some light work.  Based on this "light work", I blogged.

But the day was plain vanilla that I didn't see much adventure.  Me and my mom were at Fifth Wheel for breakfast, and we took an application form, because I would be attempting to get a job there.  Well, the interesting part about it is that, I get to work in a motel (either that or dish washing.)  I always wanted to work in a hotel or motel that I was already exercising in my mind what I would say if I was asked "Why I wanted to work for Fifth Wheel?"

Well, with all the excitement, I would then get news that am working at Xerox around August this year.  By God's grace, I've been known to having good marketing skills.  And I take the job for it.

This day was mainly career driven, because I told my mom over breakfast that Charles Price's congregation is packed every Sunday.  I was at Peoples for five years, and I noticed there that people were showing up every Sunday hundreds of them, two to three thousand a weekend.  And it was a phenomena to me, because yes, he was excellent in English, and yes, he was very knowledgeable about the Bible.  And a light bulb went off on me, because I've been dealing with this English thing for a very long time now, and he mentioned in his sermon that he reads biographies.  What was uncanny was that, he read two biographies in one month, how did he do it?  I don't know.  But dealing with this personhood, you can really develop your own self by learning what others went through.

I noticed with Che Guevera, because I watched his movie, and at the same time, am reading his biography, and stories of him walking on a pole where there's a waterfalls underneath is uncanny.

People are hard to judge, because we all have stories.  I take Bill Clinton for example, who lives in a happy manner, but when you read his books, it's also full of struggles.

So guess what?  Am back to reading biographies, and am on my Warren Buffet right now, and guess what?  I wanna earn some money, too.