Obviously people are unhappy with their lifestyles, and there's a competition of sensuality, because you have the idea that sex was gonna make everyone in the world happy.
Well, the irony of sex is that it actually destroys
Sex is primal, but when it's abused, the consequences can be devastating.
Obviously we're all coming from infancy, and I myself is not number one with this thing, I've only gone to notice this when I myself was getting frustrated with my own life.
And it's an issue of war, it's not an issue of peace and relaxation, because once you're trapped into the Jones' of life, the corporate world literally becomes Alcatraz, it's a prison made in an island near San Francesco, it is a dilemma, because the hunger for money and material are so surreal that you gonna end up keeping up with the Jones', and this is why people get obsessed with work and business, because you have to have all the money to pay for what you just bought.
Sex can even be psychology, I find that when individuals hate you, the laceration of actual sex, and even rape, can occur.
Growing up, I always had the belief where I was gonna be moderate, my friends wanted to be big, and so their actual lifestyle would show all the luxuries in life, but I grew up with just one, or two, friends, even with my social media, I have situations when I would only get one like whereas everyone else would get massive attention with all kinds of likes.
But I put things in perspective, this is my life, and this is how I see things, because money making to me is different to how the rest of the world does it.
Money to me need good business, you can't just say, "I have one million dollars.", because you don't, and you don't especially when you have nothing to show for it.
Even presentations skills, you have a situation where you're gonna be graded, you're gonna be graded if you're good at it or not. And a lot of people think they can do whatever they want on stage, no, you don't, there are conditions and criteria on stage.

So my close friend is getting married in a few months, September actually.
I go off in a notion that, because the soon-to-be-bride was born and raised in Italy. It's not altogether her descent, because I understand that my close friend also upgraded with some of the things he now looks. And for the most part of our lives have been this mall thing, I mean everyone embraces Ralph Lauren and what not.
But the plan now is to get myself an Italian suit, stuff's seven hundred dollars w/ tax.
And it's not entirely Robert Di Nero, but the connotation of things especially on that theatrical level, I have to say that things get serious.
I like suits.
I'd wear suits all the time if I had all the money.
Because my inspiration is still Karl Lagerfeld, am trying for Jason Wu now, and I feel his collections modernly are better than Karl's, but the Italian way of things is just so peculiar.
So as my aspirations grow for this navyish blue silky suit, I started planning how to attain the seven hundred dollars, w/ tax, because I don't use my credit card, and am not this type of guy who's gonna buy something like this, it's only conditional at this point because it's Mark's wedding, I've known him all my life.
So for that next few months, I feel my lifestyle has to change, I have to be more coherent in terms of what books am gonna read, the music am gonna play as I go outside, I can no longer deal commercialism on a daily basis, because I am out there, and money is spent when am at the mall or something.
But the notion is to just get the seven hundred dollars, and once it's handful then I get the Italian suit.
I just wanna look good.

I guess I go back to the start with a strong punned intention, pun intended! Jest.
Am gonna need all the luck in the world for this.
I kinda' said a few things in Blogger, my URL is thearrayoflove@blog.ca, no surprises, don't ask me why I chose those words for my url.
I just wanna elaborate things for Xanga, it's my revival because I was on this site for a long period of time.
Yes, it is 2.0 now, but I don't entirely see the difference, there are functions that are true anywhere else, but pretty much one has to blog in a hard fashion for this one.
Am really out of thoughts, I do wish that I can meet some bloggers here, and that I could discuss a few things, I understand that people tend to be simple online, but yes am just out of thoughts, I went to customize my public look, and I basically just enlightened my text, I need it for readability sake.
It's not that am confused, it's just an issue that it's kinda' difficult to blog.
It's a learning curve for me.
I will publish this, and I will go around Xanga looking for trouble, basically, pun.

And everything is connected to Facebook!

Uh-huh, can't stop writing.  I've grown to love HTML.  Because am supposed to be doing something else right now.  Am starting to treat this like a canvas, am not entirely a painter behind it, but I like to generate my stories based from what I've conceived on the day.  So this conception?  Well, I was driving a lot yesterday, because that's my responsibility at church, am okay with tiresome, because I've been beaten so much with this activity where I just accepted the pain.  Before, I would probably lose my cool, and hope even, but now, am like:  So be it.  This is actually an issue that's crucial, because sometimes, I do share my struggles with people, and it was my sister who said that life is a disadvantage.  Sometimes, I rebel from that truth, because her accounting job is not the most exciting thing ever.  But I make sure that am not numb in life, and that I wanna be healthy, and not be unhappy.  A lot of stuff I deal with requires creativity, because I've grown to realize that it's really hard with some of these stuff, because am dealing with life insurance, English (writing), computer coding, real estate, I mean, anything my hand can touch, and my goodness, A Whole New World, you know?

I posted this on Facebook, and am like, How does money work nowadays?  I understand food, clothing, and oil are the top sellers.  Because I look at China town, and it breathes with food and clothing.  But I think it's dumbfounding to just deal with food and clothing, I mean, if I find the business in these areas, I'd like to engage on it for sure.  I know a little bit about it, because someone did explain it to me with the relation of brand name attires like Tommy Hilfiger, Hugo Boss, and am probably influenced with that truth the man explained it to me.  But yeah, I think it's just important to sell, and to make money.  It's dumbfounding right now, because I really have to make money.  I have found that there's a lot of movements out there, this new business concept Americans have invented is very luring to me, and my goodness, I wanna be a business man behind it.

With this world recession, I've grown to notice that the financial world has changed.  I think making money is not found in company work anymore, I understand there's a lot of venues to do business, because there is the net over social networking sites, but I think it's being resourceful and industrious with what you have.  I know an elder woman who runs her take-out restaurant at her home, and she's able to pay for her mortgage.

I've grown to realize with company is that, you have to be really skilled.  Because I came from a job interview, and I just threw everything there, and I was impressive, but at the end, she questioned my motives, am like, "Huh?"  So even there, it's not just financial, it's motives.

This world went down, because people don't know how to make money anymore.  The Jezebel selling with sex is still prevelant, but when there's too much weakness, it will negate people from having bright ideas.

I mean, everything is under the sun, and it's just finding things in their business terms, but am not altogether encouraged with how things go, I understand am over trained, but I was recently in a classroom, and there weren't too much bright ideas where the theory of the course was actually being put down by questions.

Giving up would be great, but I understand that I have to find the leader in me.  I have to lead, because there isn't much job security out there.  And if I fail big time, I go to the streets.

Well, I'll try to upgrade my xanga (tallipino), because am not happy with Facebook's note application, because I wanted more HTML manuever, am basically doing bolded text with it.  With xanga, more magic can be done with the different fonts, different colours, and different accessories.

I might come off small with this profile, but believe me, I love the challenge.  I love starting from nothing, and building myself up to something.

Having said that, I don't know xanga's culture anymore, because I haven't been reading blogs here lately.  I have been primarily focused with my own writing with my own life.

I'll try to get into the mix.  I understand it's just being known in the web with these social media sites.  But the business skills can be sharpened here, because I understand it's a crucial (serious) activity to deal with.

Rather than focusing on craft and production, I think the business side must be taken seriously too.  I have learned that you have to get involved with other profiles.  That's something I don't understand too well, because I don't really know the economy with online activity.  I sometimes think that "Build it, and They Will Come", but that's not entirely accurate, I think this is a different business sense.

The picture above is the Premium Outlet mall in Chicago.

I've grown to understand that problems are man's best friends, but for me, it's still a problem.  And there are times when I want this disturbance away from me.  I always thought that I could control my destiny, and I was good at this when I was in highschool.  But when college came, and working at Xerox after graduation, I came to see that it's a day to day thing.  The control is not there that I find myself always praying.

Happiness is tough, because I want to do things which are more fun.  I bought two business books today at the mall, I have read the first one, but am having a hard time finishing it, because I think it's boring.  The second book is about the company Coca Cola, and I hope it'd be all right.

I understand that growth is important in life, because being stagnant in writing with my case can be very damaging.  I think what's hurtful is when you put a lump sum with your dealing in life.  Because at this point, I just really wanna do something.  I hate being idle, and being bored in life.

The problem with writing is that, I don't always have something to say.

Because I have the energy and time, and losing them both is hatred.

I know am never gonna know everything.  And I just have to learn to be happy with the little things.  Even if I only get a few audience, I would have to be happy for that.

Obviously, there's a lot of blogging sites online.  I have grown dependent with writing when dealing with my Facebook profile.  Am just coming back from Chicago, and I did a lot of picture taking, because I wanted to upload them, and really make the profile interesting.

The web is great, because despite that it is a virtual world, business can still be done.  Our times are really different now that technology is referenced to almost everything.

Major sites have made a lot of money, myself?  Nada.  :)  I do question Mark Zuckerberg's career path, because I feel that am a hard working person, at the same time, I don't want to turn into a geek when dealing with online activities.

But in business, you pay yourself, money's not gonna come to me if I don't do anything about it.  I think sometimes you really have to go passed convenience when it comes to getting a business done.  I've dealt with inconveniences many times, and I've asked the question "What's the point?"  Because things are not really fruitful.  Too issueable to talk about,

But with the fun stuff, Chicago was great.  I always have a great time whenever am there.  This particular one was fun, because we were at the heart of downtown, whereas then, we were in North Chicago.  I can basically show my photography, because I was taking a lot of pictures, and none were disappointing.

I still have a hangover over the trip, and I haven't really come to terms with what just happened.

I think this vacation was extreme, because we were sleeping very late.  On the last evening, I think I only had two hours of sleep.  And the drive is almost ten hours long.  The drive, and the extreme measures of Chicago was the bread and butter.  Because you have to utilize the city.  You may be sleepy and tired, but you have to engage with the city.

But I think it's an interesting city, the view was amazing.  (I'll show pictures.)

I won't even mention food, or clothing, accessories, I just liked the fact that I saw other stuff rather than Ontario, Canada.  The pictures will prove the point, the city's really beautiful.

Trilla.  I don't remember what happened throughout the day, I just feel that I went through so much.  I was so tired this morning to the point of begging sleep.  But I had to step it up, I was able to go shopping for gardening at Home Depot along with my mom, because she paid the bill, and I was able to do yard work.

Still questioning life, it's in a way where there's liberation in terms of what am going through, but am still finding my way through.  I remember asking a fella how he was doing, and he said, "Just happy to be alive."  And guess what, I just realized that right now, "Just happy to be alive."

Being thirty two is really different.  I didn't know life would be like this where it's not based on emotions or hype anymore.  At this point, it's just being healthy.

I'll still go at life with a hard working attitude, but I don't know what kinds of realizations am gonna encounter.  I think working hard is crucial, because it is demanded.  Nothing soft with the day where am really grieving at Wal-Mart's McDonald's.

Yeah, the drive to market has become bothersome.  Why?  'Cuz I feel I haven't had much success with my work all my life.  I do study successful people and what they have to say with their lives, and one has mentioned that even a good day is imperfect.

I layed off of this, because I thought no one was visiting anymore, mainly because I was just seeing zeros, but with my footprints, which recently updated, said that I had nine, eighteen views.

So it's cool that this is still being marketed.  I do strongly feel that this is quality work, because I put so much work into it.

What can I say with my life right now?

There's a lot of projects, and that's how I see life now, because everywhere I go, there's always planning, and dealing with a week by week basis.

Even my vacation in Florida was work.  It wasn't vacation for relaxation that I still feel fatigued right now.

Tired right now, 'cuz I basically woke up six in the morning, and had an intense time at church, 'cuz I was playing the drums creatively, and would find out that other people wanted my drum pattern, lol.

Busy 'cuz I think a lot.  I have all these theories with the business world, and why exactly this world recession happened.  Am using my Facebook profile to appease the business problem.

I have theories, and am sure it's on everyone's minds.  I just find people looking forward to what I will update on my profile.

At this point, I have no guage to see user activity on my profile that am working on an application to handle that.

I have this theory with online trends too, and am sure other people have picked up on it better, because these nerds basically have made millions over it.

I understand there's nothing concrete in business that I just have to keep working.  Am not even threatened that my material is handed out for free.  But work is never ending.

Photography was one of my means to productions, and right now, I don't have a setting to take pictures with.  Am coming off of Florida and took lots there, but it's gonna take me some time again to take pictures of various places.  If I had all the money in the world, I'd go to Dubai and Las Vegas.

But going to exotic places to excel in photography, and have viewers enjoy it, and move it economically in great form.

But right now, am tired, and I really have to sleep.  Tomorrow is unknown but I have no choice,

Just don't have enough credentials, it may come to the point where am just gonna do yard work tomorrow.  Lay off with the market, and just enjoy gardening or something.

Am learning now that there's limits in business.  I guess I have everyone else's problems in this,