Trilla.  I don't remember what happened throughout the day, I just feel that I went through so much.  I was so tired this morning to the point of begging sleep.  But I had to step it up, I was able to go shopping for gardening at Home Depot along with my mom, because she paid the bill, and I was able to do yard work.

Still questioning life, it's in a way where there's liberation in terms of what am going through, but am still finding my way through.  I remember asking a fella how he was doing, and he said, "Just happy to be alive."  And guess what, I just realized that right now, "Just happy to be alive."

Being thirty two is really different.  I didn't know life would be like this where it's not based on emotions or hype anymore.  At this point, it's just being healthy.

I'll still go at life with a hard working attitude, but I don't know what kinds of realizations am gonna encounter.  I think working hard is crucial, because it is demanded.  Nothing soft with the day where am really grieving at Wal-Mart's McDonald's.

Yeah, the drive to market has become bothersome.  Why?  'Cuz I feel I haven't had much success with my work all my life.  I do study successful people and what they have to say with their lives, and one has mentioned that even a good day is imperfect.

I layed off of this, because I thought no one was visiting anymore, mainly because I was just seeing zeros, but with my footprints, which recently updated, said that I had nine, eighteen views.

So it's cool that this is still being marketed.  I do strongly feel that this is quality work, because I put so much work into it.

What can I say with my life right now?

There's a lot of projects, and that's how I see life now, because everywhere I go, there's always planning, and dealing with a week by week basis.

Even my vacation in Florida was work.  It wasn't vacation for relaxation that I still feel fatigued right now.

Tired right now, 'cuz I basically woke up six in the morning, and had an intense time at church, 'cuz I was playing the drums creatively, and would find out that other people wanted my drum pattern, lol.

Busy 'cuz I think a lot.  I have all these theories with the business world, and why exactly this world recession happened.  Am using my Facebook profile to appease the business problem.

I have theories, and am sure it's on everyone's minds.  I just find people looking forward to what I will update on my profile.

At this point, I have no guage to see user activity on my profile that am working on an application to handle that.

I have this theory with online trends too, and am sure other people have picked up on it better, because these nerds basically have made millions over it.

I understand there's nothing concrete in business that I just have to keep working.  Am not even threatened that my material is handed out for free.  But work is never ending.

Photography was one of my means to productions, and right now, I don't have a setting to take pictures with.  Am coming off of Florida and took lots there, but it's gonna take me some time again to take pictures of various places.  If I had all the money in the world, I'd go to Dubai and Las Vegas.

But going to exotic places to excel in photography, and have viewers enjoy it, and move it economically in great form.

But right now, am tired, and I really have to sleep.  Tomorrow is unknown but I have no choice,

Just don't have enough credentials, it may come to the point where am just gonna do yard work tomorrow.  Lay off with the market, and just enjoy gardening or something.

Am learning now that there's limits in business.  I guess I have everyone else's problems in this,

My circle of people know that am a church goer mainly because am with them at church.

So what ends up happening with sermon lessons is that there's more motivation to read the Bible, mainly because it has so much relevance to our present time.

So this morning, I was on First and Second Timothy.  And the Word was a joy, because I carried it with me when I was going around the city.  The verse basically said, "Do not put your hope in wealth for it is uncertain, rather put it in God who gives enjoyment in everything."  I went with that notion today, and yes, I did enjoy my day.

Wow, what a day I had.  I woke up really tired this morning, and I was confused why.  I had a working day yesterday, but it wasn't any in a way where I went for a jogging, or anything like that, so I thought I wouldn't be tired.  Am just coming home from swimming, but at breakfast today at Louise's here in Milton, I was basically nodding off with my food.

The meal was overwhelming, because my mom didn't finish hers, and that I would finish it, so I ended up really full.

I slept in the afternoon, regained my strength, and rejoiced the Lord, why?  Because life felt like prison at that time, I listened to Jeremy Camp's new album, and it sufficed the situation.

But life has always been like this, and am really learning that I have to rejoice in the Lord.  Life is like a whoop ass, it's hard, it's burdening, and if you don't have any joy in life, it's so hard to survive.

My swimming was fast that I just wanted the stress out physically, I rushed because am on this Miami-Boston series, and I just watched the first quarter.

Boston?  It really hurt them letting Perkins go, Green can play, but he wasn't hitting his shots, but he did make his last three, but Miami is on the rise, and they're hitting their shots.

Life's daunting, I don't know what to do this evening, I'll probably be back on my Jeremy Camp album, and I already know that it'll suffice the situation.

What can I say with the day.  I've been trying to be British for the longest time now, and I understand that they're honest people, so liken to it, instead of saying "Oh God, what am I going through?"  I say, "This is daunting."  The day more than likely was messed up.  But I understand that we grow in bad times, I think they're a number of people who are some what familiar with my condition, with myself, I don't even know what it is, but if you look at my doctor's file, it's like the size of an encyclopedia.  So while playing volleyball today with NLCBC, I started having a quirky mind, so I started talking to God in prayer, and the thing was difficult that I was really frustrated in the change room while rehabbing myself.

By God's grace, I have a way to somewhat control the mind problem, but deep down, I keep thinking that things can be better (and that they will be better.)

I went off Brampton area, because I was looking for cold drink, and I ended up having an extra large smoothie at the Tim Horton's drive-thru.  And while all these snack-like activity, it loomed in my mind that I have to love God with my mind, Biblically, it's actually "all my mind".  Am doing that now, and am healed.  A lot can be said with my mind, because I have this Axl Rose lyrics, off November Rain, "I can finally rest my head just knowing that you're mine."  So for the longest time now, I've gone on a romance binge, and I've had intimate relationships, but "the head is never at rest."  So when I talk to my doctor, all the issues are concerning:  How's my concentration; How's my appetite...  Because health wise, I think my doctor knows me well.